In surgery

We arrived at the hospital at 5:45am and as soon as we went back into the preop room Mia started to cry immediately. After about a half hour she feel asleep in my arms. The surgeon came in and started explaining the surgery procedure to us and started talking about strokes, catheters, and death rates. He also said this is a high risk surgery. It was strange because part of what he was saying seemed to be somewhat related to Mia and I just thought he was talking in medical terms. I thought I am going to let him talk and then ask my questions. Finally Dan said something(I don't even remember) and the surgeon said "Oh I am thinking of tommorow's case which is a Fontan surgery." I was so upset at this point and breathed a sigh of relief as he started to explain Mia's surgery.

Then I was told I would not be able to go back into the operating room as originally planned. With this news I broke down in tears. The child life specialist tried to talk to the doctor but he was adament that I could not be there in case of an emergency. They wheeled Mia and I back to the doors of the operating room. I walked away from the doors with her and whispered in her ear that God loved her and that I was praying His protection over her. I kissed her and told her I loved her and handed her off. It was one of the most difficult things I have ever done.