Christmas pictures

The boys were very excited on Christmas morning! I heard Ethan wake up at 5:00am but decided to stay in bed hoping he would go back to bed. Of course his excitement kept him from being able to go back to sleep. Logan and Christian did not wake up until 7:30am! I was surprised they stayed in bed so long because it was Christmas morning! I can remember my brother and I waking up at 2am and waiting for our parents to get up(of course we waited quite awhile).After all the presents were opened I made breakfast and the boys enjoyed their gifts. We went over to my parents' house for Christmas dinner. It was a wonderful Christmas and now I am ready for 2008 to end and 2009 to begin!

Tired

......of this wait. Christmas was less than a week ago and as expected I am really struggling with this endless wait. We had a wonderful Christmas and I am thankful that is was so busy that it kept my mind of of the wait but today I am tired of it. I am so ready for this phase of this journey to end that it is begining to hurt. I am tired of hearing "it will all happen in God's timing" (even though I know that is true). It doesn't lessen the pain of this wait and I am at the point that it doesn't help. I almost forget what life was like before we started this adoption. I am tired of waking up every day wondering "could this be the day" only to end the day without "the call." People have said that once you hold your child "the wait will disappear." Here is what I think. I think the pain of the wait will lessen and I will understand why we had to wait and I will feel peace in that but I don't believe the pain of the waiting will ever completely fade from my memory. This "wait" and all the highs and lows it has brought will always be with me. As long as there are parents waiting for their child and struggling with this process I will remember the wait. I think the memory of the wait will always come back to me like a bolt of lightening. I hope when I am finally on the other side of this unbearable wait I am able to offer the encouragement and support so many have offered to me.

I know I should be posting about our Christmas but I will save that for another day. A day when this wait seems more bearable but today is not that day.

Christmas giving

True Christian Christmas

Christmas isn't showy gifts Or glittering decoration;

It's honoring our Savior, Jesus Christ In humble adoration.
It's serving those less fortunate, Meeting their needs before our own;

It's making sure at Christmas time That no one is alone.
It's taking what we would have spent On things that no one needs, And using it to help someone With service and good deeds.

Our Savior showed us how to live With charity, faith and service. It makes the holidays a joy, More peaceful, and less nervous.

So let's remember Christmas is About our Savior's birth;

That's the way to happiness, The way to peace on earth.

By Joanna Fuchs

This year during the Christmas season we decided as a family to reach out and help others in need. During this time in our world when there is so much hardship, worry, and confusion we wanted to help to make Christmas a little more "merrier" for those in need. As a family we feel so blessed despite the difficult times we are living in. It is so easy to get caught up in gift buying, the tree trimming, the parties, the wrapping of the gifts, and holiday baking. Sometimes we can forget the true meaning of Christmas~the birth of Jesus! Of course Christmas is also about giving. We realize there are so many families that are truly struggling and it is our job as Christians to be a blessing. It is especially important to Dan and I that we teach our children that there are many people who have far less than we have and that is important that we show God's love to them and be a blessing."For everyone whom much is given, from him much will be required." Luke 12:48

~As a family we have decided within our extended family that instead of exchanging gifts we would sponsor a family through the Salvation Army. My sister and I went shopping for our family over Thanksgiving weekend and it was especially hard to see some of the "gifts" they were asking for. A warm coat for their children, pajamas, sheets for the bed, socks, shoes etc. The things that way too often we take for granted and will buy for ourselves without thinking twice.

~The boys have received Christmas money from relatives and they choose a boy or a girl to buy for and bought a winter coat and gloves with their Christmas money instead of spending the money on themselves. We also talked about what it would be like to not have a warm winter coat or gloves to put on in this cold weather. Our church is collecting winter items and we will donate the coats and gloves knowing that a few more children will now be warm this winter season.

~We have a family member that is going through a very difficult time and will be unable to provide Christmas for their children. Along with my parents we bought clothes and toys for this family member and were able to send a big box filled with clothes to them. Just today I got a phone call from this family member in tears thanking me because she was so grateful! These are the moments that warm your heart to know that you have made the season a little brighter for someone else.

~Logan's class collected personal items for a behavioral health facility. Dan took him to pick out items to donate. He was able to donate three bags of needed items.

During this holiday season may we all look for ways to give. May we find ways to help those that are in need. May we help to make someone else's Christmas a little brighter. In doing this may we show the love of Jesus to someone else and be a blessing!

Happy Birthday Logan!

Yesterday we celebrated Logan's 9th birthday by going to dinner at a hibachi grill. The boys have never been to a hibachi dinner before so we decided to give it a try. It was pricey but I think it is a dinner the boys will always remember. The boys were amazed to see the fire on the grill as they cooked our food. At the end of our meal they brought Logan out mango ice cream with a singing flower on top that sang "happy birthday." As Logan looked at the pink flower on his ice cream that just kept singing and singing he said to us "I am not taking that flower home." As we received the bill and noticed that they charged us $4 for the singing flower we joked with him and said "For $4 you will take your pink flower home." I couldn't believe they charged us $4 for a flower/candle! It was cute but not $4 cute! As we left the flower remained on the table untouched by the birthday boy!

Bowling with Santa

Every year my parents take the boys to and event called "Bowling with Santa." Before leaving to go Christian told us that he had a couple questions he wanted to ask Santa. He wanted to know "Santa were you born with that long white beard?" and "Santa why do you have to wear those fancy clothes?" I don't think he found out the answers to his questions but thought they were funny!

My boys love to bowl and with Christmas vacation starting next Monday (yes I said NEXT Monday) and the cold weather begining I know we will be bowling alot more. The boys really enjoy going because not only do they get to see Santa and bowl they also get a goody bag with a Toys R Us $10 gift card. Dan and I also look forward to the day because we go out to lunch and finish up any last minute Christmas shopping.

Surgery update

Well it is over and went very well. Logan did great but we had a rough start. To use his expression he was "freaked out." To the point that he was in tears numerous times before surgery because he was so nervous. It broke my heart to see him so upset and unsure. His tears turned into my tears. I promised myself I would be strong and not cry in front of him but I couldn't help it. I reassured him that everything would be okay and it was. Tonight he is laying on the couch recovering and watching Sports Center. All is right in his world.

Surgery

Logan will be having surgery this Monday to remove a mass on his arm. In May he was playing football on the playground with his friends and he ended up getting tackled and hurt his arm. A few days later a bump appeared on his forearm on top of his elbow. When this first happened I was angry and called the school to find out what was going on on the playground. This was the third time in one week that he was injured playing "two hand tap" football on the playground. I understand that playground monitors cannot see everything but when your kid is injured three times in one week it is cause for concern. One of the times he got hurt the secretary called me to tell me someone had stepped on his leg and bruised it pretty badly. They iced it and he seemed okay.

Back to "the bump" as Logan refers to it. We saw an orthopedic surgeon in the summer and he felt that we could wait to have it removed or we could just leave it alone. It doesn't bother Logan unless someone bumps it. The doctor thought it was possible that it could "rupture" on its own. Once football season began Logan was not interested in missing football to have it removed. The doctor felt it was probably just a cyst due to its location but could not say that with 100% accuracy. The only way we will truly know what it is is to have it removed. He also said it isn't entirely fluid filled and that there is something solid in it. Dan and I both feel that since we can't know exactly what it is until it is removed it must come out which obviously means surgery for Logan. After it is removed it will be sent to pathology and about a week later we will get the results.

Logan does not seem nervous at this point. The only thing he has told us is he does not want to have to wear "those hospital pajamas." Unfortunately that is out of our hands. I think I am more nervous than him. My children have never had surgery of any kind. Ethan had ear tubes but that was not under general anesthesia. The surgery should last about an hour and we will be able to go home that day. So after Monday "the bump" will be gone and all that will be left is a tiny scar.

Ethan's Christmas wish

Ethan was writing out his Christmas list tonight and told me that his Christmas wish was for a sister. He said "My wish is for Mia and I am going to write a story about my Christimas wish and Mia." Oh how I wanted to cry! Does he sense that this is also my Christmas wish? Maybe our wish will come true. What a Christmas miracle that would be!

The pictures that did not make the cut

While we were at my sister's house for Thanksgiving I decided to have her take a family picture of us to include on our Christmas card. I thought this would be a quick and easy photo shoot after all we were going for a completely casual look. To say it was a disaster would be an understatement! Christian did not want to cooperate at all! Aren't family pictures suppose to get easier as your kids get older? We are planning on getting our family pictures professsionally done within the next couple of weeks but after this "trial run" I may rethink that idea! Out of probably 10-12 shots we only got one decent picture that I would consider using. I am also comtemplating not sending out Christmas cards this year. I am feeling a bit unmotivated at the moment so we will have to see what happens. The idea of having to go through another Christmas card photo shot makes me want to cringe.

Blog makeover

I decided it was time for a "blog makeover." My friend Leslie at Sweet Berry Designs made over my blog and did a great job! I love pink and brown together so this is perfect! Thanks again Leslie!

Our Thanksgiving recap

We had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year! My sister and brother in law hosted Thanksgiving at their house this year. We arrived at their house on Wednesday night after almost 6 hours in the car. Usually it takes about 3 1/2 hours to get to their house but there was an accident on the highway and it was shut down for over 5 hours so we had to take an alternate route. As soon as we got there the work began! My sister and brother in law were hard at work before we got there and I think my brother in law was especially excited to see me so he could be excused from his "duties." We started on the stuffing and made a white chocolate raspberry cheesecake.

On Thursday morning had to get "Tom the turkey" ready. It is worth mentioning that Danielle and I have never made a turkey. I know it sounds pathetic especially for me but Thanksgiving is usually held at my parent's house or my aunt's house. With that being said cleaning "Tom" out was quite the experience! We let Brian clean out the "insides" though he tried to pawn this duty off on me several times! After about 45 minutes of a few mishaps and some extra cleaning "Tom" was ready to meet his fate~the oven!

Thanksgiving was complete with stuffing, mashed potaoes and gravy, corn, green bean casserole, rolls, pumpkin pie, apple crisp, cheesecake, brownies and of course good ole "Tom." The best part of Thanksgiving for us (besides the food and leftovers) was being able to spend it with friends and family. We are very blessed!

Back from my long but much needed break

All out silliness


Things are starting to get a little silly. Just look at Logan's face.

A nice picture of me and Ethan

Grandpa's ? birthday

Christian's 7th birthday

Time for a quick November catch up since taking a break from blogger world. First I would like to thank everyone who left comments or e-mailed me offering your prayers and support. It truly meant alot to me. I am feeling much better now and even though we made a difficult decision I know it was the right decision and I am at peace with it.

November was a busy month with football and soccer end of the season parties, Christian's 7th birthday, and the holidays quickly approaching! They come faster every year and I know the stores start playing the Christmas music earlier every year! This weekend we got in the Christmas spirit and put up our tree. We usually put it up the weekend before Thanksgiving since it is so much darn work! Getting up in the attic and dragging it out with attic dust falling all over the place! Separating all of the tree branches and cleaning up the many "needles" left on the floor! Straightening the branches and fixing the lights. It never fails that every year we need to replace a strand or two or three! I sound like a "scrooge" and I really do love the holidays and all of the festivities but you get the point it is ALOT of work! I love to see the kid's faces when the tree lights up for the first time! Christian said last night as we were trimming the tree "mom I think Santa will think we have the best tree!" I love how the tree is the first thing they turn on in the morning even before the TV! I love to catch a glimpse of them just staring and admiring the tree. Yes it is definitely all worth it!

I will end this post with random pictures from the month of November. Of course I will have more after Thanksgiving! We are looking forward to spending Thanksgiving with my sister and brother in law and his family! My parents bailed on us and went to Hilton Head. Can you believe that? Would you rather spend Thanksgiving with your family in Ohio or be on the beach in Hilton Head? Don't answer that I think I know the answer!

Taking a break

I have decided to take a break from blogging for awhile. We have had a challenging week that ended in making a difficult decision. I need some time to regroup and get a new perspective on things. I don't like the place I am in. My heart is broken and I am feeling very discouraged right now. I know this feeling will pass with time. I just need a break.

A big day for Ethan

Ethan has worn glasses since he was 6 years old. After a school eye exam it was suggested that we have his eyes further evaluated. When we took him to the eye doctor the doctor was surprised we never noticed Ethan having vision problems. He has always hated wearing his glasses. He really started to dread wearing glasses when the eye doctor informed us that since Ethan plays soccer we should invest in rec specs for him. I can't blame him for not wanting to wear rec specs because they are rather big and bulky but we have always insisted he wear them to avoid injurying his eyes in a sporting accident. For about a year he has been asking us for contacts. We told him that he needed to wait until he was a little older and he had to be getting good grades in school. Since the begining of the school year Dan and I have both noticed how hard Ethan has been trying in school. He is very determined to get straight As. We are able to check his grades online and I know that he is one B+ away from having all As. He also has always been very responsible with his glasses. They have had to be replaced twice and that was because of a defective frame.

Today he had an eye doctor's appointment and I told him we would "talk" to the doctor about getting contacts. Truth be told I had every intention of getting him contacts but didn't want to get his hopes up if they didn't have his prescription on hand. The doctor asked if he was responsible with his glasses and if he worked hard in school. Then they measured his eyes for contacts and fitted him with a pair. Next the doctor had him practice taking the contacts in and out. I must admit I was a little nervous about him being able to get them in and out. He popped them right in and out as if he had done this several times! He is allowed to wear them 4-5 hours today and of course chose to wear them to school. He is THRILLED to not have to wear his rec specs for soccer anymore. I have always loved him in his glasses but think getting contacts was a huge confidence booster for him. I will miss seeing my boy in his glasses all the time but I am so happy that is he so excited about his "new" look!

Tagged

My friend Donna tagged me so now I have to share 7 weird or interesting things about myself. I tend to avoid "being tagged" but this one sounded fun and I am sure I can come up with at least 7 weird or interesting things to share!

1. I hate, depise, and avoid at all costs public speaking! I am not a "center of attention" type of person and would much rather blend in with the crowd rather than stand out. However this past July I had to overcome my public speaking phobia. My sister got married in July and asked me to be her Matron of Honor. As honored as I was for her to ask me I knew I would have to give a toast at the reception. I even tried to pass off my "duties" to another bridesmaid but knew I would forever regret it if I didn't deliver my speech so I did it shaking like a leaf the entire time! I am so glad I took advantage of the opportunity and didn't pass out in the process!

2. I have this OCD habit of checking numerous times to make sure the garage door is down before we go to bed at night. I will also check to make sure all the doors are locked. Dan finds this habit very annoying because I will ask him to check right after I have checked and then I will go down and check again. It is very OCD!

3. I have never had a speeding ticket. Now in all fairness I have been pulled over a couple times for speeding but I have always managed to get myself out of the ticket. I have always said I think it is because the officer checks my license and notices I don't have any offenses and lets me off the hook. I know my time is probably coming but for now I can say "I have never had a speeding ticket."

4. I hate camping. I am not an outdoorsy type of girl at all. When I was younger and in girl scouts I actually quit scouts after our first camping adventure. The sad part is we actually camped in a cabin and I still hated it.

5. I get homesick very easily which will be interesting to be in China for two weeks! As a child I would hate to be away from home. I remember sleeping over at friend's houses and calling my mom in the middle of the night to come and get me. I think I am much better now that I am older but I still love the comforts of home.

6. Purell is one of my best friends! I am constantly sanitizing or disinfecting something. The first words out of my mouth when my kids get home from school is "Wash your hands." I also hate to shake people's hands but how do you politely decline when you are at church? I pay particular attention at church if anyone I am standing by is sneezing, coughing, or blowing their nose and I will turn from them when it is time to shake hands. I will also try to be discreet and get in my purse and purell my hands after shaking hands.

7. I was a band nerd in high school. No I didn't play any instruments I was a flag carrier. I actually enjoyed it in high school but hated our uniforms! They were old and the skirts were so long. We had to wear white boots with pom poms on them. Luckily my junior year we got new uniforms that were much more "stylish."

Now I am suppose to tag 7 people. I am to lazy to link blogs so I will tag any of my ladybug friends who have not participated yet. Leave me a comment when you are finished!

Your time is up!

Hopefully tonight Cloris Leachman's run on "Dancing with the Stars" will come to an end. Carrie Ann said it best last night when she said "we let Toni Braxton go for this?" At first I could find the humor in it all and even admired Cloris for attempting to learn to dance but I am tired of her antics and if someone else who has more talent and potential gets sent home tonight and Cloris stays I might have to boycott the show. Her entertainment value is gone and now I just find her annoying! She can't dance and just tries to "entertain" her way through it. I have never seen the judges score lower than a five but I think last night's performance deserved much lower than a five. I guess they are scoring based on effort. I told Dan last night the only reason I can imagine that she is still there is the same reason the worst singer on American Idol always seems to make it into the top six or so. People are "voting" for the worse and that is why Cloris remains. She certainly is not there based on her dancing skills.

Another contestant that needs to step it up before they are voted off is Susan Lucci. I really do think she has the potential to be a great dancer but something is holding her back. I think it is clear that she is not comfortable with her dancing. She was off several times last night and at this stage of the competition you need to be in sync with your partner. She needs to "let it go" and become more comfortable in her dancing.

Let's hope tonight we are bidding Cloris farewell so the real competition can begin!