Procedure today

Mia is going to be having the sclerosing procedure today to hopefully eliminate the fluid on her left side. It is a very painful procedure but she will be sedated so she should not feel anything. I am hoping that I will be able to be in the procedure room with her to comfort her. It should take 2 hrs or so and during that time they will be rotating her to make sure that the medicine coats all sides of her. The goal is that the medicine helps the lungs adhere to the chest wall not allowing the fluid to collect. The surgeon told me that it has a high success rate and at this point it is the best option to try. I am hoping that we end up in the category of "high success" especially since she doesn't have a ton of fluid and this procedure is usually performed in more complex cases. She can have the procedure performed up to three times if necessary. I am aware of the alternate options if this doesn't work but I am trying not to let my mind go there because they are more invasive and she will ultimately end up back in surgery.

Please pray that this works for her today with minimal amount of pain. I am beyond desperate to see the light at the end of this very long tunnel. Mia needs to get home. We need our family back together under one roof. I miss my boys terribly and feel like I have abandoned them. They are handling our separation very well (I am so proud of them!) but I need to get home to them. I need to resume my motherly duties to them. I have missed so many of their football and soccer games. I have been completely "out of the loop" with their schooling. I miss my husband. Dan and I have literally passed each other as we switch shifts at the hospital. My parents have been amazing with helping us and I will never be able to thank them enough. They even rescheduled a much deserved vacation to be here for us. They need their lives back.

As I said before despite all of the events of the past month I would do this all over again in a second for Mia. Before her surgery it would anger me that she was allowed to live in China without the surgery she so desperately needed. I shutter to think about if she had had surgery in China and experienced these complications what would have happened to her. After all that she has been through she smiles at everyone(as long as they are not touching her), waves bye bye, and blows kisses. She is such an example of facing challenges with a positive spirit and a smile. There have been many times that I have needed to take a lesson from her. Who would have thought in spite of her own struggles and pain that she would have taught me a lesson on how to conquer? Still as her mother I long for her pain and struggle to end. Today I pray her end to this chapter is closer so her next chapter can begin.