The unpopular parent?

Ethan asked me to add a song to his Ipod today. Unfortunately for him it was a song that we would not allow. After I explained to him for about the millionth time that we will decide what he is allowed to listen to he got upset and said "I am just going to give you my Ipod then." After about 15 minutes I went into his room without saying anything and gave him a hug and left. He came downstairs a few minutes later and sat at the table. I began to explain to him(again) that we loved him and we always do what we feel is best for him. I also told him that though he doesn't understand now he will one day when he is a parent. He replied "well what if I don't have any kids?" I said "Right now my concern is you and we will do what we feel is right for you." I said "I know it is very hard and it makes you mad when your friends are allowed to do things that you are not allowed." How can a ten year old possibly understand this? I also said "We will probably be one of the most unpopular parents in your entire class and I am okay with that." His response surprised me as he said "Mom you are not the most unpopular parent in my class. Do you remember that paper I had to write about who my hero was? I picked you. No one else picked their parent but me. I know you always try to do what is best for me. You don't let me listen to bad music or cuss like other parents do." I looked at him and said "I am so glad that even though our decisions make you mad sometimes that you realize that we are only doing what we feel is right for you." As I turned to get something out of the refrigerator I looked at his paper that has been hanging there for the past few months and I couldn't help but smile.

My Hero

My mom is my hero.

Her name is Melinda.

She has told me right from wrong all my life.

She has always been good all her life.

Someday I want to be just like her.

She has told me what to do& what not to do & I listen to that.

She made me the good person I am today.

She always knows whats best for me.

And that is why my mom is my hero.

The hair dilemma~ To cut or not to cut?

Christian decided over the weekend that he was going to give himself a new hairstyle and here are the results.




Obviously he took a chunk out of the side of his bangs. I guess I should be glad that this didn't happen before pictures and that he didn't cut into the middle of his bangs. I remember when we were little my brother decided to cut his bangs right before Christmas pictures and cut out the middle of his bangs. Of course we still had our pictures taken missing bangs and all. When I asked him why he cut his bangs he simply said "I wanted my hair to be short like my friend Nathan's hair." So the question remains, "will he get the short hair that he wants?" I don't know as that would require for his hair to be buzzed to accomodate the missing bangs and it is still too cold to be sporting that look. Maybe we should just cut it a bit shorter to try to even it out. The problem is he has great hair and "I" don't want to cut it! His hair has a nice texture and is shiny! Christian and Ethan can easily pull off the longer look. Logan's hair tends to be more wavy when he grows it out which makes it harder to keep it looking nice. So what do you think should I cut it or leave it?

WANTED Pink M&Ms only!

My sister and Brian are having a candy bar at their wedding reception that will include green, pink, and orange M&Ms. We found out that to specially order these colors would be $10.00 a pound! My mom found green M&Ms and we have determined that we will need to order the orange M&Ms. With Valentine's day right around the corner there is a special Valentine's day mix out so yesterday my mom and I spent time going through the red, white, and pink M&Ms and picking out all of the pink M&Ms. My mom did find a Valentine mix of M&MS that is all pink but they are different shades of pink but are still very close shades of pink. For example if you are at a wedding reception with low lighting there is no way you would be able to tell that they were different shades of pink. Of course my mom could tell and now she is not sure if she wants to use the shade that is in her words "duller" than the other shades which she finds to be much "prettier". Did I mention that she is very detail oriented? Did I also mention that if I have to sort through all those pink M&Ms to separate the "dull" M&MS from the "pretty colored" M&Ms I will need some extremely good lighting and a good sense of humor!

You can't tell from the picture(again because it is so very hard to tell) but the darker shade of pink is actually two different shades and these are the colors in question. The lighter shade is out!

In for a long night.....

Christian has had a cold for the past couple of days. At lunch time I gave him some Benadryl with the hopes that it would help with his runny nose and that he would take a nap (he usually will fall asleep when I give him Benadryl). Well it didn't help with his runny nose but he did take a nap~ 5 hours later at dinner time! He slept for an hour and a half so I am preparing for a long night with my night owl!

Procrastinating

PROCRASTINATOR. Yep thats me. Not in all areas of my life but when it comes to updating our homestudy and getting our immunizations I have been a big time procrastinator. We received our packet to start the homestudy update last week and it has been sitting on my dresser untouched ever since. I briefly looked through it but got discouraged. Do we really need another fire inspection? What has changed in two years? We haven't moved. Here's what we need.

1. Fill out another application
2. Submit another letter of employment
3. Update our financial sheet
4. Get child abuse clearance
5. Get refingerprinted at the local police station
6. Update everyone's medical forms
7. Get another fire inspection
8. We need another reference letter

Now granted this definitely is not as in depth as the first go around but I really did not think I would need to be doing two paperchases for one adoption. Anyway it is what it is and we will start the process of updating soon. Our social worker said that at the very latest to start in early April so I have a few months to go.

Onto the next task I have been putting off. We need to get started on our immunizations for our China trip. Angie's blog reminded me that we need to get going on this. I am terrified of shots! In fact I can't remember the last time I actually had a shot but I think I would rather have an IV than a shot! I need to look into this further but we are going to need Hepatitis A, Hepatitis B, and possibly a Typhoid shot. I need to look into the Typhoid shot as through my limited research I do not see this being given as one of the more routine shots but it is recommended on the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention website. I also know I will need a Tetanus booster. Since these immunizations are given in a series I know we need to get started. So those of you who are not procrastinating and have begun your immunizations how bad is it? Honest responses appreciated!

Bullets

~Christian just left for school about 10 mins ago after a few struggles. First he was being very picky about what he wanted to wear to school today. He usually isn't this way with regards to what to wear so I am not sure what the deal was today. He finally found a shirt to wear but the pants he wanted to wear were dirty. Since I was starting laundry anyway I tried to wash the pants for him so he could wear them. Unfortuantely for him they were only half way dry when it was time for him to leave so he had to find another pair. Then he told me "I'm not going to school today!" I mean really will this ever end? We are half way through the school year and he is still not wanting to go to school! It has gotten better but c'mon!

~I am sooo done with everything football in this house! Logan loves to watch football on the weekends and has no problem spending the entire day watching it. Of course it doesn't help that Dan can do the same thing! I can watch a game but refuse to spend an entire day watching football! Yesterday I wanted to run some errands and Logan was having a meltdown that he was going to miss the game! We managed to get him out the door but he continued to ask what time it was and if he would be back in time for the game. He talks football ALL THE TIME! He wants to wear his football jerseys ALL THE TIME! It will be over in a couple weeks but Christian has discovered a new passion~basketball. Could basketball replace football? I doubt it!

~Our adoption agency received a new list of waiting children last week that will probably cover families who turned in their medical checklists in March and April. What wonderful news for these families and children! I can't wait to hear about all the new referrals! We turned our medical checklist in in October so we still have a while to wait (our agency usually receives lists every two months) but I love living through others excitement and hearing about their referrals!

~My sister informed me on Saturday that it is exactly 6 months until her wedding! We are officially on the countdown! My mom and I have begun planning her bridal shower and will be having a luncheon at an Italian restaurant. We have picked the date and have chosen the invitations! Of course I can't go into too much detail here because she reads this blog but we are very excited! I will say that I think my mom and I are overthinking some of the details that may not be so important but my mom tends to be very detail oriented when it comes to this wedding so I just tend to go with the flow.

~My boys are so done with Tae Kwon Do especially Ethan and Logan. They go three nights a week and every time they go it is a struggle. I can understand because they have been doing it for 3 1/2 years. They have reached their black belt and are completely burnt out and have lost interest. I am okay with them quitting. Soccer season will be starting in April and we will be busy with that. Plus not having to pay the monthly fee will be a bonus!

"I'm not eating that......

I am having cereal for dinner tonight!" This is what we hear from Christian EVERY night at dinner time. He defines a picky eater! Unless it is pizza night which we usually do one time every week or two you can bet that dinner is going to be a battle. At this point he is winning and I am frustrated. He had his six year check up in December and I explained my concerns to the pediatrician and she recommended that we introduce a new food to him every day for 14 days and he could decide at the end of two weeks if he liked it or not. She said she was not too concerend with it because his growth is normal. He agreed that he would give it a try. So the next day I gave him a baby carrot. He would not even pick it up to try it. I will admit it was hard in December to enforce this with the holidays so I decided in January we would really try to put in effect this new rule. So far we have been unsuccessful. If it isn't peanut butter and jelly, pizza, or chicken fingers he is NOT interested. Breakfast is usually okay because he will have oatmeal or cereal. Lunch is always peanut butter and jelly and a piece of fruit. For snacks he will eat yogurt, pudding, or crackers.

Ethan and Logan were picky eaters when they were around 3 years old but they grew out of it. For the most part they are open to trying new foods. In a way this is new area for me as I expected him to grow out of it like his brothers. Maybe I need to be more forceful and make him sit there until he eats it but he will literally sit there for an hour and never touch his dinner. He might try it but he already has it in his head that he doesn't like it so he never gives it a fair chance. I of course will not let him go to bed hungry so he usually ends up with a bowl of cereal. Yes I know that he is in control of this situation but I am hoping it is just a looong phase and he will grow out of it. That or he is going to have a really hard time finding a date who only wants cereal for dinner!

Back to the gym

Now that the holidays are over I need to get back into my routine of going to the gym. I usually hit the gym 3-4 days a week but with the boys being on Christmas break it was hard to find time to go. When they were younger I would take them with me but the child care at the gym is geared more towards the toddler age and they would get so bored. I should have made them go anyway but instead I did The Firm at home. I really like The Firm workout as an alternative but I feel I get a better workout at the gym. Maybe it is the variety of equipment or the motivation of those around me working out. So today after Christian goes to school I will be hitting the gym!

The Ipod controversy

Every year at Christmas the boys get a gift from Dan and I in addition to their gifts from Santa. This year Ethan really wanted us to get him an Ipod. My feelings were mixed because I knew it would cause problems over the music he wanted to put on it and what we felt was appropriate for him. Before Christmas we told him many times that if he ended up getting an Ipod that he would have to follow the rules as to what songs he was allowed to listen to and that we didn't want an arguement every time we told him "no" about a song. He agreed. So....

On Christmas he got his Ipod plus an iTunes gift card. Until this weekend we have been able to come to a compromise about his music. Over the weekend he had a friend spend the night and he brought his Ipod over. He let Ethan listen to some of his songs(or at least partially due to our intervening) and now Ethan wants a song called Soulja Boy and Sexy Boy on his Ipod. Of course this is NOT going to happen! We do not allow our boys to listen to any type of music that is suggestive in nature. We do not feel it is appropriate for our 10 year old son to be listening to "Sexy Boy." What positive message can this song possibly have for a 10 year old?

I understand that Ethan wants to be like his friends and enjoy similar music but I hope to teach him that you need to make good choices and that you don't need to follow the crowd. I know this is hard for a 10 year old to understand but it needs to be instilled at a young age. I remember what it was like for me when all my friends were allowed to do something and I was not. It IS hard. In the end it is OUR responsibility to instill our values in our children.

The compromising will continue and I am sure we will still have some disagreements but I hope that one day Ethan will realize we made these rules because we love him and want the best for him.

Family goals in '08

With the begining of a new year I have been giving a lot of thought to what we can do as a family to make our lives happier, healthier, and more purposeful. I do not like thinking of it as a "New Years resolution" because I think it often sets you up for failure. How often do we hear of our "New Years resolutions" being forgotten by the first week of the new year? Instead I feel that we can make small changes in 2008 that can make a big difference in our lives! I will allow room for flexibilty because I think too often we tend to give up if we can't commit 100%. Here are some of our family goals for 2008.

~ We have decided as a family that Friday nights will now be "family game night." The TV will be off and we will spend time playing games as a family. I will try to make this a priority as much as possible because I feel it is important that we laugh and have fun as a family without the distraction of the TV. This will make a great memory for our children and for us!*Subject to flexibility.

~ We will sit down together as a family every night for dinner. This is another rule that will need to be flexible due to our schedules but it will be a priority. Too often I am busy getting the kids their dinner or have some other distraction going on and by the time I am ready to eat they are almost done.

~ Going GREEN! I watched the Oprah show yesterday and was very inspired to start to do something as a family to help our Earth. It was interesting to learn that even small changes can add up!

1. We are going to change our lightbulbs to GE smart energy bulbs. One audience member said that by doing this she is saving $50 a month on her electric bill!

2. I am going to switch our cleaning products to non toxic products. There are a couple brands they sell at Target such as Method so this would be very convenient (since I am at Target so much!) and better for our household.

3. We will also start to recycle our newspaper. We will stack them up in the garage and then take them to be recycled.

4. I will be taking a water bottle with me to the gym instead of bottled water. Those plastic bottles really add up!

It is interesting how some awareness can cause you to want to make changes in preserving the Earth. Even by doing small things we are helping to make a difference and I hope I am teaching my children that it is everyone's responsibility to care for our planet.

~Less yelling notice I didn't say "no yelling." I need to be realistic. Lately there has been far too much yelling in our household and the winter months are not helping! It is hard especially for the boys not to be able to go outside and burn off some energy. I also find that my patience with them is wearing. Lately it seems that they would much rather aggravate each other than play together (which to some extent is normal) but I get tired of breaking up fights, tattling, name calling, and just flat out unkindness. My wake up call came when Logan told me "Mom, I don't like it when you yell, it scares me." That was horrible to hear and it broke my heart. But it forced me to do a little self examination. As parents we set the tone in our households. How can we expect our kids not to yell when we are yelling at them? I have told Logan that I am sorry and that I need to work on it. Now I am accountable to my eight year old son. How can I fail? Simple~I can't and that little sentence was all the motivation I needed to make a change. So in 2008 I am hoping for a household with more peace and less yelling begining with me.

Happy New Year!

May your new year be filled with happiness, health, & peace! Here's hoping that 2008 is your best year yet!