Mia had a checkup with her cardiologist today. As soon as we stepped in the doctor's office the meltdown started and continued until an old friend showed up in the form of Versed. As soon as this magical potion took effect she was a calm and even smiley little girl. I am lovin the Versed because without it we would have a very combative and scared little girl on our hands=no fun. She laid still for her tests playing with the "stickers" on her chest and watching Dora. Her tests all looked very good and her cardiologist is very pleased with her progress. We will go back in six months for another checkup. Her cardiologist is certain that Mia is not using the pacemaker but it will stay in place unless she would need another surgery which we are hoping she will not need for years.
I am so thankful that I am able to breathe another sigh of relief and thank God that Mia is healthy. It is still so very hard for me to enter that hospital and walk past the PICU doors. As we were walking to the office there was a family in the main waiting room and I could tell by the looks of worry and anxiety on their faces that their child must be a patient in the PICU. I said a quick prayer for them as I walked by remembering the mix and height of emotions that a parent experiences when their child is in a critical state. I have yet to take Mia down the PICU hall to visit the nurses and doctors that took such wonderful care of her. I would love for them to see her looking so healthy! The difference in her in six months time is amazing! We have not made that visit mostly because I know at this point it would be too terrifying for her but also because I do not think I am ready. I do not think I could go past the room that she spent three weeks in without becoming emotional. I am not ready to relive those images and those days. Not yet anyway.
Today was a good day. A very good day. The feelings of anxiety and yes even fear that I walked in the hospital with were replaced with feelings of joy and a grateful heart for my healthy little girl.